It feels as if I closed my eyes for only a second and I'm suddenly standing on the brink of turning 25. What happened to those days of reading in the trees, hiking with my cousins through my grandparents property, Saturday mornings at Hardees with Papa Robertson, and Friday night at the Reid's? There are days that I miss the simplicity of childhood.
Don't misinterpret my rambling. I love my children. I love my husband. I am content with my day to day. I am content with my job, on most days :). I am content with life completely. My longing for yesterday has nothing to do with my discontent of my today.
Emmelyn said something to me this week that sparked this train of thought. We were talking and she smiled to me and said, "Mommy, I love being a kid. I don't ever want to be an adult." She is so smart. I smiled to her and my heart hurt. It dawned on me that my little girl will grow up. She will learn to tie her shoes, learn to read, learn to add, subtract, multiply, and divide. Emmelyn will discover the world and all it has in it. I suddenly find my eyes filled with tears. Emmelyn discovering all this world holds includes experiencing heartache and disappointment. I can't protect her. I can't wrap my hands around her little heart and keep it whole. She will learn that I'm not perfect, that her Daddy is not perfect, that the world is cold and mean. There will come a day where I will stand back and let her spread her wings. I dread that day. I only pray that she will learn to grip on to God with the faith of a child and never let go! If she can only look up no matter what...
I have to teach her. I have to show her how to hold on to God.
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