So here it is, the truth...

I am changing today. I am tired of pretending and I am ready to change. So, here is the truth to anyone who wants to hear it -

I am lazy. I am a slob. I am not a good mother or wife. Now, before you start commenting about how this is not true, let me clue you in. My house is a wreck. My living room has stuff all over the floor; it desperately needs to be swept. My bedroom is a joke. I have pillows that have not had pillowcases in years...the right side floor of my bed is covered in clothes...my Christmas decorations are piled (unorganized) in boxes on one side. Currently I have several children's toys in the floor and a couple comforters. I am not exaggerating here. My kitchen - there are clothes, luggage (we got back from the beach a week ago), toys, dirty laundry (next to the washing machine), dirty dishes in the sink, dirty cookware on the stove, dirty appliances on the counter. The kids' room - there are 13 boxes of unorganized children's toys and books. There is a huge roll of beautiful linoleum in their floor in front of an unused and empty dresser! You cannot use the closet for all the boxes of toys and stuff. My back hallway/laundry room - you cannot see the floor for the clothes. My bathroom - it is covered in clothes, kitty food, and more kids' toys.

So - go ahead, be appalled - I am! It is more than a little out of control. I used to blame it on the fact that I was working full-time, going to school full-time, and trying to get a photography business up and running on top of all the normal duties of wife and mother. However, I am a stay-at-home mother now...and while what I've described is definitely improvement to the way the house was when I was working... it's still not "in order".

So, how did I get here? I do not know. It is a combination of laziness, depression, poor habits (which are quickly passing to my children), being overwhelmed, etc.

I have never been completely honest about this. There are several family members that are aware and just politely leave it alone...or say stuff from time to time...but I try to hide it. I am a slob. I am a complete and total slob.

However, it is all about to change. I am tired of this, for real. I have the idea of what I want our house to be...a home, and it is not that right now. I am instilling bad habits instead of Godly attitudes in the people I love most in this world - my children. I have not even touched on what God must possibly think of this. (If anyone can offer any good verses on this topic to help keep me motivated)

So, here it is, the unfiltered truth. I am starting a journey of transformation spiritually, physically (I am on day 4 of a workout program), mentally, etc... I hope to blog daily about this transformation that is taking place.

So, here is what I need for ANYONE that reads this (and knows me personally):

1. Please, know that I am good at heart, and while this is extremely embarrassing, I need to be truthful. So, keep loving me.

2. Please, PRAY! I need prayer to make change for real.

3. Please, encourage me by comments, emails, phone calls, etc... I thrive on encouragement from others.

4. Please, send any tips on organizing, maintaining, scheduling, cooking, etc my way (I need help).


I do not need excuses; I need a solution and a change. I know that!

So, I am on to my project for today. My living room. I will take pictures of before and after and post them tonight when I reflect on my day. Starting tomorrow, I will be disciplined in getting up at 6:30 (so I have time for devotion and to get breakfast going before the kids wake up). I will find order in this chaos!

So, take a minute if you are reading this, and say a prayer for me. I am on a mission and clinging tight to "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." So, take a look, because a new me is in the works.